When one is growing up, many things are a drive. They range from constant pushing from parents, fear of punishment, imitating older siblings, desire to be like someone else e.g. a neighbor,s kid, desire to fit in a certain clique among others. But a time comes when motivation has to be derived from within, the driver is our own selves, the beliefs we adhere to, the principles we make for ourselves, the rules that define our boundaries… Not from without, but from within. This moment varies from one person to the next. It may come early in life, and we comment form observation that such and such a child is independent; It may come ant teenage, where it is noticed that one does not follow the crowd; for others it may come so much later in life that people tend to comment that so and so needs to grow up.
I discovered I could make my own rules in life, when I read the book, “Her own Rules” by Barbara Taylor Bradford. I was in form one. In the book, there was this girl who was separated from her parents at a tender age of 5 years, and taken up to a certain children’s home that ended up having her shipped to a different continent all together. And in a bid to struggle to make identity for herself, she made rules to live by, and she achieved much by sticking to those rules. I learnt that, I could make my own beliefs, I could follow my own paths, I did not have to fit to be myself, I did not have to care so much about what anyone said about me, that all that had to matter was my being right with God.
Such is what shaped who I am right now, but a midst all these rules, some of which I am intend to share was that we are a product of the environment. Our interaction with the people around us constantly shape who we become. When we choose to reject their ideals, and when we borrow some of which they believe in, when our hearts are touched by their kindness, and are annoyed by their behaviors and attitudes, when their stories inspire, when their smiles make us smile back, when we empathize, when we reach out to help, when we share the moments that define us, we constantly grow to be something, to be us.
I believe in life, I believe that life is sacred. I believe that life from conception to death is Holy, and we have no right whatsoever on how that life should die. I believe that we all have a purpose, Adolf Hitler may have been a tyrant, The people of Jerusalem may have been murderers -Read they killed Jesus- , Blessed Mother Theresa may have been very kind and loving; but they all lived in their time, and they did what they had to, but all in all it turns out for the Glory of God; somehow.
I believe in pain, not just physical, but emotional psychological pain. It is in this pain, sorrow of some kind that we really get in touch with ourselves, and we learn about the honesty of those who are close to us. It is when we are in pain that we know our tolerance levels, our strength, it is in our lows that we really discover who we trust in life, it is in there that we get in touch with God, one on one…Not that we are not in touch otherwise, but we really have a conversation. It is when you have nothing to lose, when you have lost everything, that you can face yourself in the mirror and say this is me.
I believe in death. I believe that death is not a bad stealer of good people, but it is an end that we must all factually face. I believe that my life here on earth, should be such that, when I die, it will be better for me. I believe in life after death. I believe that those I love should be able to live on with my absence by smiling everyday by the memory of what we shared together. That means that my life here on earth should be geared towards making peoples lives more comfortable, more bearable, more confident; that every encounter with a beloved friend should not be in vain, that the weak should feel strong, that the lost should feel a sense of direction, that the desperate should feel comforted, that the unloved should feel loved; by that one encounter, which may have been God sent, we have more reasons to smile than frown, that our problems seem less, and our tears are dried… On the other hand, the smiles are broadened, the strength is boosted, the jovial are left more happy. No one should ever feel less of who they are just because they encountered me…
I believe in chastity, with all that it stands for. I believe that we define our own reality, and when the society tells me we should be sexually active because it is the reality, I ask what if my side is the reality. Does it mean that since it is true, or since it is popular it is real? No. I define my own reality. I believe also that we constantly fall and in falling we have a chance to re-evaluate our selves. to look at the path we followed, and re-discover which turns were wrong, and in doing that, strengthened by God, we can rise and move on. I believe in the opposites, in heaven and hell, in joy and sorrow, in sickness and good health, in evil and good, in tears and laughter, and I believe the opposites act in our lives every day and our reaction and response to such make or break us.
I believe that the world does not need millionaires to make each person happy. It needs people who constantly reach out to one another for the good of each other. In someone who notices and compliments the little good that we do, in someone who does not criticize the weaknesses that we naturally posses but works bit by bit with us to make us better than ourselves. It does not matter how much money wen end up having at the end of the day, it is what we do with it that defines our wealth. Yes, the constant interaction with one another defines how much joy we create for ourselves and for the world. I believe in friendship, and the wealth they bring into our lives. I believe in marriages that last. I believe family shapes us a lot, and they are our most important teachers. I also believe that we can still find our own place if that which we grow up in is unpleasant. We do not have to be slaves of that which shaped us. We can shape our own selves into what wen want to be.
I am not perfect, but I have very many rules that guide me. I get annoyed when people do wrong. But I get more hurt. Not because I cannot fall into such mistakes myself but because, I may have fallen severally, and that part of me is crying out not to let anyone else to be stupid enough to make the same mistakes I made, that part of me that is urging the other to be stronger than me because, being weak is not good, and falling to the laws that I fall when I make such a mistake wont help one either… Well, maybe it will in the log run.
I believe in God. I believe in His abundant kindness. I know He constantly shapes our lives through the different experiences we o through. He brings us people to help us through each phases of life. I believe in family, and children. I believe conception is the biggest miracle, and the growth of a human being is a daily manifestation of God’s glory. I believe I have one moment every day to live in and share the goodness of God. I am not in control of the next second, but this one that am granted every time a second unfolds is foe me to make a difference in my life, and the lives of those around me.
Finally, I am a miracle in this world. There is no other like me, I am unique, I am priceless, I am my heavenly Daddy’s daughter. Whom he loves and cherishes dearly. I am fearfully and wonderingly made. And If I ever doubt, then I only need to remind myself that after God created me, He said…It is good- I am perfect in His eyes, but He keeps perfecting me for himself…
I am not wise, I am just a believer in the many things I set myself to choose to believe… And that which I chose drives me everyday, to always be the best at my own beliefs.