As long as we can remember, since we could read fairy tales or listen to them as they were read to us, deep inside our hearts we long for happily ever afters. But as we grow up we realize that it is a bit more complex than that and the handsome prince who usually comes to sweep us off our feet sometimes takes too long, or when they come, they are either not handsome enough, or do not sweep us off our feet as we envisioned or they disappoint and the story of our lives end with an anticlimax…
In the same way, every girl (because I know about us) has a fairy tale that she nurture deep in her heart about the man she would want to be dating. She knows who perfects her, who brings out the best in her and makes up for the worst in her. The “perfect”man may not necessarily be the one who drives the biggest hottest car, though to some extent that has compromised the magic of it…but that who will understand and treasure her, as a woman, as his woman… Its amazing the things she does to ensure that just by any chance they encounter each other on he street… from dressing to rehearsing her first lines, to the first date, to how he should propose…Blame it on the mind of the woman being a complex system where everything in that system must work, must fall in place…
I didn’t have all that in my head. I just knew that i wanted to one day meet a man who will see the sadness in my eyes and in his own little ways make it go away.
I did meet him, in my tender years in college. I did not want to have a complex campus life, neither was my heart ready, so i told him no. For some reason, years later, he came back. And I was ready, and it has never been the same…
Not in the bad way, but life has been easier, not because he had everything, but because he was himself, and he shared himself with me. He was patient, and waited for when I could totally smile with my heart and love him completely. He was everything I dreamt of in a man, a man to love me as a woman. He loves me with everything he has, he treasures me as a woman, he supports me, and is my strength at my weakest. He treats me right, and he makes life seem easy. Every difficulty can be smiled about, every challenge can be faced with a smile, every step can be taken happily, and all he ever desires is happiness. He want to live a happy life. He demands for so little in return and would go extra many miles just to make sure I pursue that which makes me happy, that next dream and he cheers me along during the race, and when I cross the finish line, he understands that the means were not easy and he celebrates a hundred fold with me. He prays with and for me. I think he prays for me more that I pray for myself. He teaches me the aspects of Catholicism that I don’t know. He Protects my world, he cries with me, he laughs with me,he nurtures my virtues and believes in me, He makes me know that making a mistake is not the end of the world, make the mistake the world is the end, e is not perfect, well neither m I, but in our own ways we perfect each other, we have our bad days, but we find our way through them, we create the best of every situation and keeps making a step in the direction we believe is right for us, He calls and we talk forever, about anything and everything, he cherishes my love for me, never taking me for granted … Well lets just say, HE REALLY LOVES ME.
I do not know about tomorrow, I do not know if my story will end with happily ever after, all I know is today, I am loved, not for who I ought to be but for who I am. And today is all I have to love back in return. He is my daily miracle, a reflection of God’s special love for me. And if I die before I wake, or if the winds of fortune changes tomorrow, then I will forever be grateful that at one moment in time, I loved, and I was loved back. I found love. Love found me. I don’t know if I am worth all this or if am worth him, all that I know is God counted me worthy of Him. He blessed me with him, and he keeps blessing me with him. He reminds me of God’s mercy and love for mankind. Did my sadness go away? Your guess is right…Yes it did…
If you we ever doubt love, we doubt our very existence because we are the products of God’s love, our being is nurtured by God’s love, and on a human context we are products of love. My encouragement is, we should not doubt love, whether we have been hurt by it or because of it, whether we have been disappointed by those we love, whether we have meed made feel less of ho we are because of loving, or any other negative emotion that we may harbor towards it, it hurts because it exists and because it is true and because we believe it in our hurts and because we know that it is real, because we are wired naturally to love and to be loved. May we never lose hope on it because if we do then we loose ourselves. We are called to believe again and again and again…
For my fiance… You are my daily miracle, and I will forever be thankful to God for you!