I am writing this, hoping that someday, when you are old enough, you will read and you will derive meaning from all that is herein. I also hope that someday you will understand that I love you so much. I loved you even before I conceived you, I loved you even before I met your father, I fell in love with you since I was a child myself, and since then I have waned to hold you in my arms.
This was made more resound by the unconditional love i felt when I first met your cousin, Derick. You will love him when you meet him, well I hope and pray you will be friends. I really wanted you then.
I have looked forward to the day I would awake to the realization of your presence in my womb. I have waited for the day I will start listening to your heart beat, uniquely you. I have waited for that first movement inside of me, every anticipation, a milestone, an appreciation of God’s miracle of life.
I dread your birth, but I know God who ordains life, and deems it fit that children come to this world through child birth will see me through it, but I would love to hold you in my arms for the first time, look at your innocent face, your closed eyes, your first cry, your first suckle of a taste of human food, your first smile, that first time when you will close your fist and hold my hand, that knowing look that,” you are my mother and in your arms I am not afraid,” that tender touch from your soft palm, the trust in your eyes, the belief in me, on every word that I will tell you, knowing that mummy is right, that first giggle, that first hug, the crawl and the first baby step, that baby language that paves way to the word mama or baba whichever word that you will utter first will be music to my ears;
I want to watch you grow, to experience you milestones in life with you. want to teach you the values I learnt from my own mother. I want to teach you the faith she introduced me to, a faith that has shaped many decisions in my life. I want to teach you purity as a virtue, I want to teach you self respect as a value, I want to teach you the essence of love and how everything else that is good radiates from it, I want to teach you the importance of trust, and the fulfillment of hard work, especially when that which you are working hard at brings you so much joy, I want to teach you the whys of living well with people, regardless f their origin, background and who they are, they too are God’s creation. I am not a great reader of the bible, but I pray that your father will teach you the importance of reading the Holy book. I know that he will teach you the great lessons that you can derive therein, I know he will derive joy in watching you grow to be the very best of yourself, I know he will teach you all you need to know about great men, him being great too in his own capacity. He will teach you how to accept mistakes when you have made some, and the importance of never staying down when you fall. He will teach you courage, to face this life and survival on your own, in case anything ever happened to us… We all die you know. He will teach you never to say die, never to give up, never to let go of that which you know will bring you happiness, but more so, he will teach you the essence of being happy, whatever the boat you are riding on at that point in time, or the storms that are rocking that boat…
I dream many things for you, but more so, I pray that you will have your own dreams and you will work hard to achieve all of them. Dream big, aim for the farthest star that your curriculum will ever teach you and somehow, ensure your aim is always there. The best thing is you may land on it, the next best thins is you will land somewhere close, but the worst would be not taking off whatsoever. I pray that your father and I will live long enough to see those dreams realized, and also be strong enough to support you all through. We pray too that someday you will have a family of your own, and you will teach them all the important things that we will teach you but more so, you will teach them the lessons from your own experiences.
Finally, I pray that you will desire more than anything, heaven, that when your life is done here on earth, you will have your assets in heaven Desire that, and the God you ordained your life, will curve out a path for you, that will take you there. I pray that you will discern the purpose designed for you by God in this world and live that purpose. In that purpose, you will realize his abundant love for you. That’s a heavenly feeling…
I wish you a heaven both on earth and in heaven…
With so much love,